suicidal tendencies
26 DAYS TO GO
this is from my old blog again, archived at www.proiris.uni.cc, the mother of www.i-lounge.org posted on Jan 28 2007 at 08:46 AM
just a while ago, i felt enlightened about the principle of seppuko. people have all these good words to say about living and the sin of taking one's life...brave words for the same people who at least, once in their lifetime, had contemplated death as the ultimate answer to all that is embarrassing | painful in their lives. while what lies after that last breath remains unknown, the one on the verge of suicide does not actually think of him|herself first - it would have to be how other people will feel after their loss. what will prompt them to think of themselves would have to be the point wherein they would actually be on the act of it or on thinking of how to go. heck, a knife or blade to the wrist won't kill you if you slash the wrong place. in overdosing, the worse of not dying is living through a failed attempt of taking silly pills in the wrong dosage or if somebody actually tried to revive you. hanging is the way of the desperate. man, imagine suddenly changing your mind and clonk - wala na.
yes, there is a certain level of enlightenment to achieve after suicide. but you won't be around to see or feel it. my advice? to live well is the best revenge. i mean heck, kill yourself and only be remembered by a few who cares - if someone would light you a candle on november on your unblessed grave...consider yourself quite loved (but how? you're dead!!??).
one thing is certain in a suicide. those who were successful will never tell you they are leaving. they just kill themselves in a secluded and gloomy spot as if driven by an unseen spirit of madness.
- - -
one more thing about that suicide thingy...
the thing is, shame | guilt | worthlessness still kills. die a psychosomatic death, kill yourself with work and achieve something to cover the ugly memories that left you broken. make it your motivation, to make those who hurt you regret...
in the end, if you weren't successful in making a turn around from depression = more or less, there you go to the secluded, gloomy space of the place you call home and without warning, take your last breath with the floor | the ceiling | your bed | your environment as the last thing you would ever see...
your last thoughts filled with love for those who never valued you for your worth in their lives, wishing them the happiness you BELIEVED they deserve.
shucks. crap. love ha, it's bullshit for irony.
- - -
somewhere over the rainbow my friends...skies are blue.
yes, there is a certain level of enlightenment to achieve after suicide. but you won't be around to see or feel it. my advice? to live well is the best revenge. i mean heck, kill yourself and only be remembered by a few who cares - if someone would light you a candle on november on your unblessed grave...consider yourself quite loved (but how? you're dead!!??).
one thing is certain in a suicide. those who were successful will never tell you they are leaving. they just kill themselves in a secluded and gloomy spot as if driven by an unseen spirit of madness.
- - -
one more thing about that suicide thingy...
the thing is, shame | guilt | worthlessness still kills. die a psychosomatic death, kill yourself with work and achieve something to cover the ugly memories that left you broken. make it your motivation, to make those who hurt you regret...
in the end, if you weren't successful in making a turn around from depression = more or less, there you go to the secluded, gloomy space of the place you call home and without warning, take your last breath with the floor | the ceiling | your bed | your environment as the last thing you would ever see...
your last thoughts filled with love for those who never valued you for your worth in their lives, wishing them the happiness you BELIEVED they deserve.
shucks. crap. love ha, it's bullshit for irony.
- - -
somewhere over the rainbow my friends...skies are blue.
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