Crap and Scraps

I now face the final month of the year that brought me so much emotional pain. I do not wish to remember anything by the time 30 days are up but realistically, that is one promise to myself that I might not keep.

I started a joke, which started the whole world crying,
But I didnt see that the joke was on me, oh no.

As far as I am concerned, today also marks the first 30 days since I last heard from you. No matter who, what, when, where you are right now, I am not happy for you. I don't have reasons to be. Neither do I feel any pleasure in calling you names (like "jerk" and "asshole") as you might have wanted me to remember you IN the end. After 3 years. At this point, I assume that you were never sorry for the pain that you have caused me. You probably think it isn't important anymore for me to forgive you because you are having the time of your life now.

I started to cry, which started the whole world laughing,
Oh, if Id only seen that the joke was on me.

...on the other hand, ask me again after 30 days...